How To Make Friends in Your Thirties
I haven’t posted anything in awhile. Mainly because a lot has been going on. After nine years of living in Louisville, KY, I needed a change. I quit my teaching job and headed to Nashville. I’ve been here a week and I’ve been thinking about a few things. How am I going to make friends? It was pretty easy to make friends in college. You just walked into the dorm bathroom and come out with a new friend. It was pretty easy to make friends after college. You just go to a church group or party and leave with a group of friends. What about now? I am in my thirties (very early thirties. very early). Is making friends going to be as easy? I have a few ideas and I’ll let you know how they are going so far.
Church:
I’ve always found church to be a great way to meet new people. At this point in my life however most of my peers have moved on to the next stage in their own lives and would see me as more of a baby sitter/friend. It may be a little trickier to meet people in their thirties and single. Good thing churches have just the place for us losers..um..I mean single people to go and hang out with weirdos..I mean other single people. Life groups. I haven’t tried any yet but it’s on my “make new friends to-do list”. I’ll let you know how it goes. My one fear is that these singles life groups can often seem like meat/meet markets. I am after all looking for friends that are girls as well as a guy that is going to sweep me off my feet.
Piggy Back Friends:
Even though I just moved to Nashville, I have a handful of friends/acquaintances here already. A great way to make new friends is to get to know your friend’s friends. I’m a firm believer in the idea that everyone has room for new friends and if that is in fact true, surely I can weasel my way into some group of friends here in the music city.
BEWARE! Not everyone wants a new friend to weasel into their group. You can put the extra work into cracking the code of that particular friend group if you want. After all, people that are protective of their friends are most likely loyal OR move onto another group of people. Making friends should not be like breaking into Fort Knox.
Online Dating:
Let’s be honest, dating isn’t what it use to be. Remember college when everyone was available and you had a new crush each week? Those were great times but THEY ARE OVER. Being a school teacher is basically the same as being in a female prison. I did not run into single man over the age of 9. Ever! So I did it. I tried online dating and I’ve actually met some cool people. It’s not like To Catch A Predator. You can spot and weed out the weirdos pretty quickly. The greatest thing about it is that you can see new places in the city and if you are with a gentlemen..see them for free. You might not meet your soul mate (you may) but you can have new experiences with new people and even make some friends.
Be A Joiner:
You know how you can tell someone has just gotten out of a relationship? All the sudden on facebook and twitter you get posts that they are eating here, hanging out with them or pictures of them doing that! It’s probably why some people remain single because it can be a lot of fun. If it’s not fun at least other people might assume you’re having fun based on your profile and invite you to other possibly enjoyable events. Same thing when you move to a new city. You have to join things to meet people and eventually find like-minded friends.
Volunteer:
Volunteering can be not only awesome and rewarding but it is a good way to meet people as well. Of course some people have been court ordered to volunteer but others just have giving/serving hearts which make for great friends. So many places are looking for volunteers, so find something that tugs at your heart strings and help out.
Make An Event:
There are all kinds of fun things to do and there are event goers and event makers. If you only know a few people consider having a game night and having the few people you know bring themselves and a friend. Remember in Vacation Bible School when you would earn points for bringing a friend? You can even give imaginary points to anyone who brings a friend to your event. Why not? It’s your party. There are no rules that you have to become boring once you reach a certain age. Be creative! Have a prom or a I love the 80s party. People love reasons to celebrate. Have a “It’s Tuesday Party”. If you send out an invite, people will come.
Do you have any other ideas? Or better yet, do you live in Nashville and want to hang out?
Single: A Four Letter Word
There was an older woman who attended the church I grew up at who by every definition was an “Old Maid” or a “Spinster”. When I was in the 6th grade she came to talk to my Girl Scout group about her life. We asked her why she never had gotten married and her answer has always stuck with me. Ok, it kind of haunts me. She said that when she was a young girl, she would play Post Office with her friends. Boys would send her letters but she would return the letters return to sender. They continued to send letters and just like always she would return them. Then she said the words that kind of play over and over in my head, “Then one day they just stopped sending letters.” Was she just too picky? Uninterested in dating? Or did she miss the boat?
I’m a single girl and pretty comfortable with that status. I was a late bloomer when it came to boys. When everyone else was having their first dates and first kisses in high school, I was writing the Mickey Mouse Club fan letters and sending Jonathan Brandis my hand-made friendship bracelets. You could say I wasn’t really in touch with reality. I remember feeling left out but mostly because my friends had other plans that didn’t involve me. No one in high school ever asked me out so I never had to worry about it. They weren’t on my radar and I wasn’t on theirs so it worked out well. It wasn’t until college that I started dating and haven’t stopped since. Not because I like dating but because I haven’t found the right person for me. Now before you “Oooohhh” and “Ahhhh”, “poor thing”, and “tsk tsk” me, you should know something. Yes, I look forward to the day when I am married and have children but I am not interested in marrying someone just for the title. That’s way too easy. Us single girls in our thirties should not be treated like designer jeans that are now sold at T.J. Maxx because the company made too many. We are still designer jeans. Yes, I know your sister’s ex husband’s brother is a great catch and I’m glad he is almost out for parole but he is not for me.
On the flip side I don’t want the boys to stop sending letters because I keep sending them back either. WHAT IS YOUR POINT, MEGAN! Here it is..being single doesn’t mean someone wasn’t good enough for the first draft. So when you look at an awesome single lady, or guy for that matter, and say, in my opinion, the most patronizing statement: “I just don’t understand why you are single” you might think you are saying “You are great, everyone wants to be with you” (which we actually already know) but to us it sounds like you are saying being married is a club you have to be a part of and we just can’t seem to score an invite. Maybe before you say that statement you should stop and think about how God is faithful and we are just along for the ride. We know you care about us and that is why you want us to find someone to be happy. We will if it is in God’s plan. If not, God has another great plan for us.
You all remember how to play “Old Maid” right? Or “Jennifer Aniston” as the media would like to have us call it. 
You pick from a group of cards and pair up your matches, the one stuck with the Old Maid loses. Look closer at that picture of the Old Maid, looks to me like she’s having a great time. Reminds me of another lady I once knew who one day just stopped receiving mail.
My Life With Freckles 