The Post I Wasn’t Going to Write
Ever since I started this blog, I’ve had one blog idea stuck in my head. I could never make myself write it because I didn’t like they way it would make me come off or look. I’m only telling you about it today because I think I’m a growin’ and a changin’. Some people may say I’m becoming a woman although by other accounts, I became a woman in the 8th grade.
The whole idea was basically for the past three …four years, I really have had no interest in a relationship. I felt like one of those sticky hands from a 25 cent machine. You know how you get the sticky hand, throw it on a door, the dresser but after a while all the sticky is gone and no matter what you do (even washing it), the sticky isn’t sticky anymore. I had some fantastic guys come my way the past few years but I just couldn’t commit. I just didn’t stick. Many things could be the cause of my unstickyness but I think it all goes back to the last relationship I had that ended and hurt. You know the I can’t breath hurt. I remember praying that I would never go through the pain of a break-up again and even though I’ve been through break-ups since I haven’t felt any pain…at least not my usual, cut all my hair off, listen to Coldplay and sit in a dark room kind of pain. I was okay with my new-found independence, dating who and when I wanted. I felt like my entire dating life I had been Michael from My Two Dads but now I was Joey. That reference may be lost on a lot of people but I feel like explaining would just ruin it. Pressing on..pressing on. Sooo…I signed up for match.com when I moved to Nashville because I needed friends and maybe a husband but this website is not good for a girl with lack of sticky tendencies. It is hard to commit to one person when you don’t know what is behind door number 2. Aargh! Curiosity gets the better of me every time. I must know what is behind that door. So my dating habits were just like putting my sticky hand on a sweater…more sticky gone.
So I was unstickingly dating a guy who is a strong believer in setting me straight and he said something that my Dad had mentioned to me a year earlier. He told me (just as my Dad did) that you can’t be stuck on a desert island, turn down all the boats passing by to save you and then complain about how you were stuck on the island. Yeah, yeah..I hear you. I believe the reason I haven’t been saved isn’t because I haven’t had the opportunity but that the wrong boats keep offering. They are all heading the wrong direction. I’m not just going to get on a boat and float off into the sunset (or lack of sunset) to Alaska. I suffer too much from seasonal affective disorder for that to be a good choice. The point is however that I need to stop getting on the other boats, eating a steak dinner, watching a movie and then declining to continue on the voyage. If my goal is really to marry an awesome man and have wonderful kids with a knack for pop culture factoids then I need to straighten up my act. I’ve decided to stop dating all my options and wait until I find someone who strikes my fancy. Maybe Zack Morris…maybe A.C. Slater! It doesn’t matter as long as they were on a sitcom in the 90s.
Okay..I’m a work in progress.
Robby Rambacher
You don’t always know when an event takes place, that it is going to be one of the most talked about events of your entire life. My Dad and I were waiting in the oral surgeon’s office today and he was talking about a book where people describe their entire lives using only six words. I’m not saying these next six words describe my life but I think I have said them more than I have said any other words: Robby Rambacher ran into me. yeah. *shrug
WARNING: This blog may contain sarcasm and a bit of whininess. I know I am truly blessed and a tooth is just a small thing.
This is me..the brownie. Life was pretty good back then. I had lost a few teeth and my new front tooth was growing in. A new tooth was certainly going to catch my crush Josh Click’s eye. I couldn’t wait to see the finished product but something happened that made seeing all my grown up teeth only a dream. Something I would never know or understand. What happened you ask? Sit back, relax and let me tell you a story.
When I was in the first grade, I was playing a nice, friendly game of tag in the church gymnasium. I’m not sure if I wasn’t watching where I was going or Robby Rambacher wasn’t watching or both. All I know is that my tooth hit Robby’s new glasses and broke. So from before I even had my entire front tooth, It was broken. I had a cap on my tooth (that broke several times) for about twenty years until my tooth turned brown and I looked like a pirate. Aargh! So I saved up all my money, threw away my eye patch and bought myself my very own tooth. Hip Hip Hooray. A year after buying myself a beautiful tooth however, it started to hurt, my gum turned purple and I got an infection in my mouth. I went to a root canal specialist thinking that was the problem only for him to show me this x-ray.
This was my tooth. The root was disintegrating due to childhood trauma or as I like to call it a game of tag that went terribly, terribly wrong. The only option, have it removed. It was starting to hurt so bad that having it removed seemed lovely. I could take out my flipper tooth..it would be a great party trick, right? All until the day I had it removed and couldn’t control my weeping. Teeth don’t just grow back, ya know! How am I going to move to a new city and make friends while wearing dentures? How do I eat with dentures? How do I kiss a boy? These were all very important questions. So when my self-esteem went in the toilet, my online shopping therapy began. You see, getting an implant is a ridiculously long process. First, you have to get a flipper tooth (or a tooth on a retainer) made by one dentist, then you have to get your tooth pulled out by an oral surgeon, then you move to a new city (this step is optional), then you wait two months for your gum to heal, then you have to find an oral surgeon to put in your implant (or screw that is moonlighting as your old tooth root), then you have to wait three months for that to heal, then you find another dentist to make you a crown and THEN THEY PUT THE CROWN ON THE IMPLANT AND YOU ARE DONE!
I had the implant put in today so I’m half way done. It wasn’t so bad. The only problem is they did a lot of work and graphing on the roof of my mouth so now my flipper tooth no longer fits and falls out when I talk. So self-esteem back in the toilet and online shopping back on. It’s a shame all I can do is put items in my shopping cart and then log out. I would have preferred going on an exotic trip rather than buying something God gave me for free. Glass half full, glass half full.
At least I’m not alone.
Note: No names were changed for this post and no hard feeling for Robby Rambacher. He was actually a really sweet first grader.
Note number 2: If you would like to donate to my online shopping therapy, let me know. Just kidding.
My Life With Freckles 