The Post I Wasn’t Going to Write

Ever since I started this blog, I’ve had one blog idea stuck in my head. I could never make myself write it because I didn’t like they way it would make me come off or look. I’m only telling you about it today because I think I’m a growin’ and a changin’. Some people may say I’m becoming a woman although by other accounts, I became a woman in the 8th grade.

The whole idea was basically for the past three …four years, I really have had  no interest in a relationship. I felt like one of those sticky hands from a 25 cent machine. You know how you get the sticky hand, throw it on a door, the dresser but after a while all the sticky is gone and no matter what you do (even washing it), the sticky isn’t sticky anymore. I had some fantastic guys come my way the past few years but I just couldn’t commit. I just didn’t stick. Many things could be the cause of my unstickyness but I think it all goes back to the last relationship I had that ended and hurt. You know the I can’t breath hurt. I remember praying that I would never go through the pain of a break-up again and even though I’ve been through break-ups since I haven’t felt any pain…at least not my usual, cut all my hair off,  listen to Coldplay and sit in a dark room  kind of pain.  I was okay with my new-found independence, dating who and when I wanted. I felt like my entire dating life I had been Michael from My Two Dads but now I was Joey. That reference may be lost on a lot of people but I feel like explaining would just ruin it. Pressing on..pressing on. Sooo…I signed up for match.com when I moved to Nashville because I needed friends and maybe a husband but this website is not good for a girl with lack of sticky tendencies. It is hard to commit to one person when you don’t know what is behind door number 2. Aargh! Curiosity gets the better of me every time. I must know what is behind that door. So my dating habits were just like putting my sticky hand on a sweater…more sticky gone.

So I was unstickingly dating a guy who is a strong believer in setting me straight and he said something that my Dad had mentioned to me a year earlier. He told me (just as my Dad did) that you can’t be stuck on a desert island, turn down all the boats passing by to save you and then complain about how you were stuck on the island. Yeah, yeah..I hear you.  I believe the reason I haven’t been saved isn’t because I haven’t had the opportunity but that the wrong boats keep offering. They are all heading the wrong direction. I’m not just going to get on a boat and float off into the sunset (or lack of sunset) to Alaska. I suffer too much from seasonal affective disorder for that to be a good choice. The point is however that I need to stop getting on the other boats, eating a steak dinner, watching a movie and then declining to continue on the voyage.  If my goal is really to marry an awesome man and have wonderful kids with a knack for pop culture factoids then I need to straighten up my act.  I’ve decided to stop dating all my options and wait until I find someone who strikes my fancy.  Maybe Zack Morris…maybe A.C. Slater! It doesn’t matter as long as they were on a sitcom in the 90s.

Okay..I’m a work in progress.